Good evening, all. It seems that tonight I am at a loss for words, lack of ideas, or any material to continue my hilarious satires. So instead, I will write about what may be impairing me from thinking of anything creative and funny.
It's hard watching someone you love break down into pieces and shatter. I have experienced this before, to a small degree, but it has hit me even harder recently with someone I loved with my whole heart. Those people that fall often get into the state of mind in which they don't listen, or wont do anything with what they are told or the advice and tools given to them to help pull them back up. I've been on the side in which I was the one who was in a hole, but now I find myself standing over the hole looking down, trying to help.
The Rant...
You wanted to fix things and were determined to fix yourself so that we could be together without those problems creating issues, so this is how you do it? You come to school so high in the sky, you're only two feet away from Jesus himself. Two days later, you take seven four bars, to the point you are getting sick in the bathroom, puking up a lung, kidney and maybe even a few toes.
This is how you intend to fix things, help yourself, make me see you are doing better and proving to me that you still want that relationship? Are you seriously
that desperate for my attention, you are willing to do
anything to get it, even if it destroys you and hurts me more? That sickens me. The reason my past is that, my
past is because that very thing made me disgusted and I wanted change. Hurting people and destroying myself made me a monster that I did not want to be. But hey, if you want my attention, you finally got it. You got mine and every other person who cares about you, and even those who don't but can see how stupid you are becoming.
...such a waste of intelligence.
You are better than that, but I'm out of ways to help you see it. I can only help so much, but you are on your own for the rest. Take my advice or leave it, one thing is for certain. You killed a part of me and stole all the feelings I ever had. There is nothing there anymore, just empty space that will take more time to heal, and a distracting numbness I have to deal with each day. At least it replaces the pain that was there. Some people would want you to suffer for making another feel this way, some would dislike you for what you are doing and how you are handling the situation, while some may not give a shit. I don't hate you, nor do I want to. Too much energy, solves nothing and not the way I am. I just can't seem to like a person who is going to want to hurt me anyway they can by desperately seeking my attention. I'm only going to start repeating myself now. So I'll end it with a thanks for being the executioner and killing me. So long, good-bye to what could have been and good riddance.
On a different note, I would like to give a shout out to my Mops(if that's even possible to do via text): Mops, if the world consisted of giant mushroom houses, you'd make a great smurf. If the universe could handle to T'Fords existing in the same plane, there would be another T'Ford to give you double the amount of love. And if reality were like WoW, you'd be the deadliest but also sexiest elf throughout the Realms.
-T'Ford
